Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep and you weep alone;
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
But has trouble enough of it own.
Sing and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air;
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.
Rejoice, and men will seek you;
Grieve, and they turn and go;
They want full measure of all your pleasure,
But they do not need your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
Be sad, and you lose them all,—
There are none to decline your nectared wine,
But alone you must drink life’s gall.
Feast and your halls are crowded;
Fast and the world goes by.
Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
But no man can help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
For a large and lordly train,
But one by one we must all file on
Through the narrow aisles of pain.
-Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Have you seen the student who is always quiet, the student that never raises his/her hands and waits to be called on by the teacher? Ever seen the person who walks past you without a smile, without a glimpse of acknowledgement, even though you know them?
This article is dedicated to them, as they might not be simply just quiet, but actually self-destructive. They weep at home and quietly sniff at school, attempting to hide it, but you ignore them because they seem too depressing. You don’t want to be anywhere near them because you’re scared that you’ll get sad along with them.
Guess what? You’re right, but if you don’t talk to them or at least make an effort, they might go down the dark and lonely path, never to see the bright side of the road, your side of the road, ever again.
Making an effort isn’t as hard as you thought it would be. A smile, a happy wave, a kind word, even HELLO does it. You have just brightened up their day. It doesn’t look so gloomy to them anymore.
To you who are depressed: I hope this article helps to explain why boisterous people don’t tend to befriend you. Read closely, though not too close to the screen or you’ll get short-sighted, and you’ll understand at last.
1. Most people tend to avoid people who are or seem depressed, most times subconsciously; they don’t want to be emotionally dragged down as well.
2. Most people like warm, outgoing people.
3. Maybe they’ve tried to approach you once but you don’t talk to them and they finally give up.
4. They might be concerned that if they talk to you they will make you annoyed and thus quieter/more depressed.
5. The socialites say “WASSUP?” They will feel awkward if you don’t respond or if you stare at them like they’re crazy.
Depression, avoiding people and being avoided usually go hand in hand. It’s a very cruel cycle. You are sad. You don’t want to be around people. People start going away. You get sadder that people don’t want to be around you. You avoid them etc.etc.
The best remedy for this is actually to ask a friend to sit with you during lunchtime (or break time, whichever suits you best) and just enjoy their company. It actually helps. ☺ Socializing affirms that you don’t just have a fearful and depressed side. It’s much better and more productive than moping around the whole day anyway.
Our friends remind us that we are humans. Lovable, loving humans, even though our situation tells us the exact opposite. They tease us, they comfort us, they hurt us and they love us, but they’re friends all the same. You can’t throw them away just because you’re depressed.
From my experience, talking to friends really does work. Last year, I sank into a really deep depression. It’s kinda personal so I prefer not to share it. My friends started avoiding me and they never asked me to go for class gatherings. While I started writing more creatively (and darkly), I was on the verge of self harm. One day, when I was on the internet, I found an article on why most people tend to avoid depressed. I quickly snapped out of my black mood and tried to be more talkative—in a good way—in class. I found out that I started having more and more friends. Nowadays, I never think about running away from home or slashing anymore, thanks to an eye opening realization.
The lesson: Cry and you cry alone, but if you laugh, a sea of white gleaming teeth will stare right back at you.
Sorry, that wasn’t supposed to sound vampire-ish. *cringe*